The difference between dream and nightmare
by Jacelynn
Summary: Continuing from Bloodline, the reckoning. Quincey Harker, son of now vampire Mina Harker and Mary Seward are reunited to fight her former fiance and his brother John. Kate Cary's books take off from where Bram Stoker's Dracula left off.
1. Chapter 1

Tap, tap, tap, the light noise at the window slowly awakened me. For so many nights after Quincey left I lay awake in my room and listened for even the slightest noise. Every scratch, every bump caused my body to jump in fear of it being John's return, while still some small corner of my heart held onto the hope that any small noise in the night was Quincey returning to me. After awhile my body accustomed itself to ignore the noises, and join back into the mundane life at the hospital. No one ever spoke of the horror that surrounded myself and Becky Morrow. But the sisters now acted differently around me; courteous, but wary. As if there was some darker secret about me; if only they knew.

The fear of the dark; the night had not let up any. I ventured out only to the Edwards' and only or private suppers to dote on beautiful Grace, never again for social events.

Tap, tap, tap. Fully awake the noise was just as real as in my sleep filled head. I reached for my robe and pulled it tightly around my gown. One hand holding securely to the crucifix tucked under the collar at my neck. My feet moved towards the window, as my head screamed mercilessly for them to stop. But truly what monsters were left to see in wake, that I have not been haunted a million times over by in my nightmares? I held the candle up to the window, the light flickering violently in my trembling hand. Nothing. My eyes carefully skimmed the grounds and above in the moonlit sky, not so much as a shadow to attest to the tapping. As I turned to go back to my bed something brushed across my window, not a tap, but a rubbing; flesh dragging across the chilled glass. My breath stalled in my chest.

"Mary. Mary."

Certainly my ears were not failing me; I heard my name whispered from the bitter darkness.

"Mary."

"What?"

My voice squeaked out as a desperate plea. My heart was painfully caught between utter fear and hopeful reunion. I continued to stare intently at the window; waiting for more. My mind so focused that the noise of sudden knocking from the front door forced a startled scream from my throat. The knock came again, impatiently. My hand gripped firmly around the silver candlestick, as I scavenged through the small drawer in my bedside table for my small bottle of protection. Such a small token of reassurance considering the immense fear now pounding through me. But if it were truly my long lost fiancé; my tormentor, it was certainly better to at last face him than continue to live in the numbing fear of his return. Surely his causing my separation from Quincey Harker was the greatest pain he could ever force me to endure.

My feet moved startlingly swift down the stairs. Memories of standing with my love, fighting John and Rebecca, renewed a surge of determination and strength within me.

I called out to the door, "Who is there? What do you want?"

No answer. I called out again, this time slight annoyance tainted the words, "Who is there?"

"Mary."

The familiar voice was a quiet hush, but my heart fluttered to life in reaction to it.

"Quincey!"

I unbolted the locks and flung the door open.

There he was, standing in front of me; tall, handsome and glowing of vitality. I pushed back the thought of what gave him that brilliant vigor. For all that mattered at this moment was the relief; the love I saw flooding his deep brown eyes.

"I apologize for frightening you. I didn't want to alert anyone, I was almost seen." He paused and stared at me, burning my eyes with his intensity, "Oh my Mary!"

His words sent my heart soaring.

"Come in please."

I tried to keep my composure, but the elation in my voice easily gave me away.

He stepped over the threshold and wasted not a moment reaching his hand to my flushed face. I did not flinch at all at his strong, hurried touch; I fell into it, taking a step closer to his tall body. His hand dropped from my face as his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him. His smell was more lovely and intoxicating than I remembered. Looking up at his face I saw him evaluating me in the same manner; burying his head into my hair and then letting his eyes close with a deep inhale.

"Oh how I've missed you dear Mary."

I was unable to speak equal confirmation, though it was the truth, I was too lost in the presence of him actually being here. Panic suddenly struck me, I stiffened in his arms.

"But why have you returned? Is it John?"

Even though Quincey Harker's presence enveloped me in undeniable security, despite what I'd seen of him; I knew he would never harm me, the thought of my evil, sadistic former love once again hunting us sent a shiver of fear down my spine.

"Yes. He is still here. He returns often to Purefleet; to watch you."

The knowledge sent my blood running ice cold.

"But I was always near; your vigilant guardian, I would never allow him to lay a finger on you."

I smiled up at my dark angel.

"However the last time that I came to guard you, I knew that I could no longer bear to watch from afar. I have missed you so very much; surely the greatest suffering I could ever endure."

He tucked a wild strand of yellow, sleep mussed hair behind my ear; letting his long, warm finger slowly linger on my cheek. My heart beat at a new furious pace. Certainly just our time apart has caused my desire to grow to such an alarming level. I allowed my eyes to wander to this strikingly handsome man standing in front of me. A look of pure love, tenderness emanated from his sharp face; no sign of the ravenous, inhuman monster I had once thought him.

"Oh I am so glad you have returned, but you do continue to feed?"

I braced myself for the answer.

"Yes my love. I must." His voice was hushed in honesty.

"But I am able to control it more and more each day. I have not taken an innocent since I left you a year ago."

"I do not understand."

His illuminating healthy glow and intimidating strength were most certainly attributes of recent indulgence on human blood.

"Animals?"

"Yes, some. I have, to some extent, cleared my conscience, by taking those who harms others; the murderers, rapists, kidnappers, the monsters of society, the ones that deserve such a fitting end.

I doubted my own humanity as this strangely made sense to me. The act of what he had to do to survive still repulsed me to the very core. However the unseen crimes that happened in the gutters, that were often turned a blind eye to by the police, finally being avenged didn't seem so terribly cruel and unjust. The truce he had finally seemed to make with his conscience shown on his face, he didn't look as internally tormented as he once had.

"Then you are here? To stay?"

"If you will have Miss Seward."

My mind considered the gossip; a handsome young officer keeping company alone with an unwed woman, in her own home. It was more than shameful, it was unheard of!

Quincey must have sensed my hesitance,

"I will stay in secret of course. Until the day we can live properly as man and wife."

My mind swam dizzily at his words. He laughed at my stupefied expression,

"Surely my sweet you didn't think me so improper as to come and stay in the home of a woman I do not intend to marry. My heart would never allow that."

The seriousness overtook his eyes; obviously his affection for me had grown just as mine had for him in our year apart.

"Nor would mine."

I looked into the face of a man whose face was once the source of all my nightmares. Now I felt nothing but love. He leaned his head down to me and let his lips brush against mine. I boldly pressed my lips against him in response. My body felt as if it was on fire as his mouth seared through me. Passion boiled inside. He pulled away; no longer the difficult restraint it was once for him with me or with his first love, Lily.

"First though, Mary we must prepare. John is coming."


	2. Chapter 2

In the lingering moment that I had allowed my mind to lose itself in the inappropriate and completely wonderful kiss he was gone. My eyes blinked at the sight of the bureau in the place that Quincey had stood. Only the rhythmic tock from the grandfather clock downstairs broke up the utterly complete silence in the large room. My body shivered suddenly registering how cold it was in the room alone and away from the comfort of my bed linens. I had allowed the fire to dwindle down and walked over to place a small log across the barely glowing embers. Pulling the robe tighter around my chest I could still smell him; I hoped the scent would not soon fade as I inhaled the fabric deeply. Slowly my mind was able to comprehend the message Quincey had come to tell me and the longing for my suddenly absent lover was quickly replaced with a rush of pure terror at his news.

John had been watching me!

His return had not been unexpected, but I had anticipated some sign; unexplained death notices in the local newspaper or unexplained animals on the grounds at night. But he had returned and was here without the least of my knowledge. Examining the securely latched windows in my room I looked out into the midnight blackness of night for any sign of the demon now, but all that was to be heard was various scrapping of branches and the rattling of the windows against the blistery late winter weather. Every tap every howl of the wind played tricks with my mind; perhaps it was John at my door, but Quincey was out there somewhere; watching over me. Had he not assured me of that? In a twist of the heavens; he was protecting one lone woman as he used to protect many soldiers at war. I felt the inkling that my memory reminded that that was inaccurate; rarely as an officer in the British army had Captain Harker protected anyone; often he had lead them to a violent and unjust death. The thought of John's diary plagued my mind, reminding me of sitting in the dimly lit room at the hospital pouring over the journal that told twisted tales of inhuman brutality and unfathomable cruelty. The shock to my body the first day I had met Captain Harker; never had such an ice taken in my veins. But there was more to the day of our first meeting; even though I had known everything I was not supposed to of him as a monster from the journal I had still found him handsome, it was hard to imagine that he was possibly the same dark figure of John's memories. I thought about the face that had only moments ago gazed at me with an adoration that surely I mirrored in my own face. But this could not be the same man. He had said he no longer took innocents, why did I have to remind myself of this?

Setting the candle down on the table next to a chair I pulled two old quilts from the trunk and wrapped myself into a tight ball trying to stay vigilant and awake in the night. I didn't want to think about the diary any longer; I wanted to think of the man that had declared his love to me; that had saved my life not once but twice and was now here again for my sake. The man that prickled my skin with the soft touch of his lips. And his kiss was the only thought I needed to warm myself again into a dark nightmare filled sleep.

I awoke breathless by the screeching sound at the window. The noise played with the terrible images I had seen in my sleep; causing sheer panic to run mercilessly throughout me. The scratching of something sharp dragging against the window's glass was awful; but as soon as I reached out my arm to grab a hold of the candle it stopped completely. From underneath the old quilts I didn't move; waiting for the noise to continue. My fingers fumbled in the pocket of my robe feeling for the reassurance of holy water I had pulled from the table earlier, it was still there cold and ready against my shaking fingers. The room remained silent as I slowly pulled the blankets from my lap. The window the noise had come from was on the other side of the room; I couldn't see anything, except what looked to be a thin branch or twig lying against the glass; perhaps it was truly just the night wind battering the birch trees alongside the house. My feet moved at a hesitant pace; while my heart encouraged each step,

'Be Brave Mary, you are no longer a child. Be brave.'

Lifting the candlelight up to the pane I saw what was neither a stick nor a branch; it was a picture, carved into the glass. I desperately tried to hold onto the candlestick as not to drop it to the floor at the sight of the grotesque image; it was a small bird with its head lie next to its small body; details were not spared in any part. I knew this wasn't a bird though, this was me; John's revenge on what had been brought upon his mother and Rebecca and his father.

'Quincey's father too' my mind was sharp to remind me as I quickly tried to ignore the truth.

The room spun beneath my feet as I stood next to the window unable to move; questioning the only hope I had at survival, the man I knew I loved but my mind was choosing to question right now. As the single flame went out in the room I could no longer feel my legs beneath my body… that's when I felt arms catch me.


	3. Chapter 3

I awoke shifting my body against something that was much too stiff to be my bed and yet much too soft to have been the floor. My hand reached up to still my spinning head as I tried to sit up, only to find a strong hand pinning me down. Panic prickled my skin as I realized that someone was in the room with me, my eyes still not yet focusing on the dim room. I had little memory of what had happened after walking over to discover the chilling picture on the window pane and then feeling as if I were falling from the sky.

"Don't try to sit up Mary. Your body needs more time to awaken after a shock.."

I knew the voice instantly and drew in a much needed breath.

"Quincey?"

The sweep of his fingers across my brow assured me that he was actually there with me and it wasn't my dreams taunting me further.

"You fainted. I brought you down here so that you wouldn't wake up to the -"

He broke off and I knew he must have seen the warning inscribed upon the frosty window upstairs. It sent a chill throughout my body which Quincey responded to by tucking the hanging corners of the blanket all around me. I turned my head as his hands brushed so near my skin. He struggled to ignore my shyness, but the twinkle in his brown eyes gave way that he knew his effect upon me. His eyes were mesmerizing as I couldn't help but study them further unable to turn away from a man that any Purefleet socialite would feel overwhelmed to be in the presence of; not at the least bit bothered that I was alone in my house with a mysterious man in the wee hours before dawn. His face turned to catch me studying his features intently. He looked even more the picture of a strapping man than when he had visited me earlier in the night- he looked sated.

"Thank you. If not for you I would have surely incurred quite a nasty bump on my head."

"It was my pleasure to hold and carry you down here in my arms."

My stubborn breath once again failed me.

"Were you on the grounds tonight...when he came...when he drew that horrid picture? Did you see John?"

Quincey turned his head so that his dark hair covered his face as he spoke quietly,

"No I was not there. I had only returned as I heard your scream."

I hadn't ever remembered screaming.

"I'm sorry Mary."

We both knew it wasn't the absence he was apologizing for, but the reason behind it. It was a fact of the situation; Quincey had to fight John, yet to be able to fight John he had to be strong, in order to do that he had to feed.

I pulled up to a more even sitting position, feeling too vulnerable laying down as his tall frame hovered above me. Quincey stood up giving me space to move and began pacing the large parlor. His boots scuffling across the floral rug as he straightened out his long coat before coming to a stop fiddling with the one of my father's old record books.

The silence was awkward and suffocating. I knew I loved Quincey despite everything he was, it was not his choice and he had tried before to not feed; only driving him near madness. The torment of what he endured was a dark memory with me. I wanted him to remain here with me; I felt strangely safe when he was near, but yet I couldn't accept the necessary. For the past year I had used my few free moments not working at the hospital or pouring over father's journals to come to accept the fact of what he was and now all the accepting seemed to be a fleeting thing.

"If there was any other way Mary."

He turned not meeting my eyes. I wanted to go to him, but instead just swung my feet over the side of the chair and nodded,

"I understand. Will it be in the papers tomorrow?"

Quincey shot a brief look at me, confirming that it would.

"The man was a monster Mary, not by rebirth like me, but by choice."

I listened as he walked and knelt down next to where I still, sat unmoving. His large unusually warm hands wrapped around my own.

"I had watched him for close to a fortnight as he would sneak into his daughter's room long after the mother was asleep, he'd leave hours later leaving the child crying."

I gasped at his story, unable to comprehend such a thing.

"How did you find him? How did you know where to look?"

"I could smell his blood."

Quincey gently picked up my arm and pushed the thick fabric of my gown up past my elbow, I attempted to pull away, but without much effort as I truly didn't want him to release my arm. I watched as if viewing a scene through a voyeuristic hole in the sky. He brought his face down to my wrist; as possibly close as he could be to my skin without touching me and then inhaled deep up the length of my arm, his eyes closed lightly.

"Miss Seward, you smell of fresh honey and the first day of spring. The pure goodness of you invades every breath I take."

The words left a childish smile upon my face.

"But just as your pureness emanates from you, a tainted soul taints the blood as well. It smells unbearable."

I thought for a moment,

"If it smells unbearable, it must taste-"

Quincy's eyes looked deep in to mine and I saw what a great sacrifice he was living. Once in my life I had eaten broiled fish that had spoiled days earlier, but father hadn't noticed as his failed sense of smell cooked it. The taste was so revolting I was ill and purging for days after.

"He didn't deserve to live,"

was all I could say as I touched Quincey's cheek with my hand; offering him any level of comfort I could for what he was doing. My mind fought with the idea of his playing God, but decided it was far better than him taking an innocent child or woman wandering around at the wrong time of night. HIs eyes closed into my hand; his face releasing so many worries as I stroked his cheek.

"I worry about you so, dear Mary."

he whispered against my hand.

As I drew in a short breath to respond, a sudden pounding from the door startled me. My heart seemed to stick in my throat as the incessant knocking continued from the outside. Quincey forcefully put out his arm in front of me; as he walked through the front hall to the door. I followed behind.

The disheveled woman that stood on the other side of threshold was so unexpected I stepped out from behind Quincey. I recognize her as The Edward's housemaid; Nancy.

"Miss Seward, Miss Seward,"

she grabbed my hand pulling me out the door with her as she spoke frantically; paying no mind to Quincey standing between us.

"Nancy, what is it? What's wrong?"

"It's Grace, miss- she's gone!"


	4. Chapter 4

My breath caught in my throat - _Not Grace! _

My entire body felt number with impending fear as I turned to the tall man at my side.

"The picture of health" -repeated through my racing mind as I watched him avoid my gaze.

Quincey had assured me that he had only taken that beastly father; it was earthly justice, but looking into Nancy's panic filled face; doubt crept up into my own thoughts.

"Come Miss- you must come now please."

The woman firmly tugged on my wrist pleading with me as she pulled me out the threshold. The night air was frigid as it bit through my fabric as I stepped into the night. I suddenly felt warmth wrap around me. The smell of the fabric I knew instantly; Quincey had draped his coat around my shoulders. It warmed my body thoroughly, but I continued to shiver underneath it at the way the earthy scent of him stoked my lack of assurance at his carefully woven story of innocence.

He stepped outside with us, shutting the door behind him, but as Nancy continued to pull my body towards the carriage she had rode over in. I turned back around to search his dark eyes one last time, but he was gone. In the very early hours of the morning all lay peaceful and still and lonely on the grounds.

The drive to Blanchard House seemed to take an eternity; although the house was not even a mile from my own. I reflected as the gas lamps seemed to compete for light against the faint sun; a losing battle. It was a simple world to just watch the light. So many of my days were now spent on vigilant guard of creatures of the night; no one was to be trusted anymore- NO ONE!

As the carriage came to an abrupt halt outside the house; Nancy hurried out of the cabin motioning for me to hurry with her. In the stomach fear was bubbling wickedly; I had not returned to the Edward's home in over a year; since the fatal meeting of Lord Bathrory. Between blinks I could still see the paper lanterns and carefree bodies talking gaily as Jane as I attended the party that October night. That night had seemed to be unsuspectingly pleasant as I had tortured myself in my decision o even attend - _fooled once again-_ realizing how easily I had fallen for a charming words and inviting smiles.

_As well as strong arms, dark eyes and whispered declarations of love that make my heart feel as if it is about to fly straight from my chest._

"Mary darling what a surprise."

Jane appeared at the front door as we ascend the porch stairs; dressed in a lavish dressing gown; every hair pinned in place and her face rosy and smiling. I looked questioningly at Nancy, who wore the same confused expression as mine upon her pudgy face. This certainly wasn't a woman who seemed to have lost a child.

"I came to help and search for Grace."

An irritated urgency in my voice.

"Search for Grace?" She blinked between Nancy and myself wearing a look I often used on newly admitted patients in the sanitarium. "Grace is soundly slumbering in her nursery."

"But Miss, I saw her empty cradle myself. Mr. Edwards woke me; pounding on my chamber door telling for me to go and fetch Miss Seward."

Jane pursed her pink lips; I had not until that moment ever seen a look of agitation on her face,

"What utter nonsense. Mr. Edwards is asleep as well and I hope your little foolish madness here doesn't wake him. He was up into the early morning hours preparing a case."

Nancy nodded sheepishly at Jane.

"I beg your pardon Miss Seward."

She quickly hurried past her employer and disappeared inside the house.

"Well of all things, "Jane shook her head watching Nancy leave. "Since you are here would you at least join me for a morning cup of tea? I have missed you so Mary. They must keep you locked in that hospital as much as you work."

My cheeks flushed hearing the lies I must've told her awhile back. I hadn't been busy at the Hospital in a long time, but I needed reasons to avoid people at all costs.

A part of me wished I could just graciously accept her offer for tea. To go into her parlor, relax and enjoy a sweet honey tea, while talking and laughing for hours about silly gossip while forgetting any cares in the world. But I had to return to home; perhaps Quincey had come back I had so many questions to ask him. Perhaps John had returned and was waiting for me. My body shivered.

"I'm sorry. I have to decline. Another day though?"

Jane stuck out her bottom lip,

"Aw pity. Yes another day though."

She had a playful look on her face. Jane Edwards was many things: charming, elegant, motherly but playful was never a word used in her description. It was curious thing; even the way the few curls resting on her shoulder lay differently.

"Please give Grace a kiss from me."

She grinned at me as I turned to walk, "I shall."

And I heard the door shut. The carriage was no longer waiting in front of the house. It meant I was going to have to walk home. I turned back to the house contemplating whether to knock on the door and ask Jane to wake her driver again, but she had been so adamant at letting Andrew sleep. Pulling the coat tighter around my body I started to walk. My eyes remained focused on the promising safety of the sun coming up in the distance and the only noise I could hear was my own heart beating so loudly it made my head ache.

.


End file.
